Nearly Home

We've just waved goodbye to the corner of France and will be back in Blighty in the wee small hours.

Ah well, only 4 months until the next one!

xx
Janet
xx

Dear Julie & Dave

As the recession appears to be getting worse maybe we should consider Fred Olsen Express for our next (but one) cruise. We got a chance to examine one of their new amphibious vehicles when it was undergoing sea trials off Tenerife. Janet sneaked up and I got this picture whilst the driver was changing out of his wet clothes. From next year these vehicles will not only provide cheap trips to the Canary Islands but they will also take you sight seeing when you arrive.

Homeward Bound

Now coming to the end of a peaceful crossing of the Bay of Biscay, after a very relaxing cruise. We still have lots of credit left on our Internet account, and Dave is already planning the next cruise, so if we get chance will tell you all about it later!
Janet
xx

Afternoon Tea

We went for tea and crumpets again. The lady in front of us was obviously part of an up-market care in the community project and so, like the experienced cruisers we are, we loitered by the dining room entrance and tagged on behind a couple who looked normal. The waiter led us to a table in the far corner and bingo! - there she was glaring imperiously over the cake stand. She was elderly, dripping in jewels and spoke like she had swallowed a plum tree. She was obviously old money. You can’t get like that in one generation, it needs a programme of inbreeding over several centuries.

Her son was ‘something in the city’ (corporate wanker?) and she made it clear from the beginning that there was no point in playing cruise ship poker. The only person that would have stood a chance was the captain and I would not have bet on him. She had opinions on everything. She didn’t like the look of the singer (too black?) and the magician was ‘one of those gypsy people’. The normal couple we had followed in were forensically examined. He was Greek (hmm) and his wife was German! The voice said ‘Splendid’ but the look said ‘you’ve started two world wars, don’t try anything on my table’.

She told us about her last world cruise. ‘You have to have a suite, I mean you have to have somewhere to live properly for three and a half months’ - ‘ The suites have good air conditioning but sometimes you have to leave the windows open and bugs and nasty things get in’ – ‘When we were off South African a monkey got in and frightened me’. On reflection I was surprised – I would have expected her to have mistaken it for room service and ordered another bottle of Bollinger.

Dave XX

P&O take Health & Safety seriously

Lisbon Postscript

Two things fascinate me about Lisbon, the pavements and the bridge. All the pavements, and I mean ALL, are covered in small mis-shaped beige lumps of marble. There must be a law that only permits this sort of paving. (like the law that requires UK Utilities to always make good excavations with tarmac) My theory is that the King of Portugal once imported a shipload of this marble for his palace floor. When the Queen said ‘I’m not having beige again’ he came up with a decree that got rid of the marble and also made him a few escudos.

The bridge sings. I don’t mean folk songs or even heavy metal (sorry) but it hums really loudly. It’s to do with the vibration of the traffic and the resonance frequency of the bridge. I guess you could make it play a tune by altering the vibration a bit. A symphony written specially for the bridge could start with trucks and buses and have delicate middle passages of smart cars and bicycles.

Just past the bridge is the Statue of the Explorers which honours the famous navigators that roamed the world when Portugal was a major seafaring power. Each navigator had a charter from the King which, loosely translated, commanded them to – ‘Sail forth and find a new way to the east. Claim any new lands you find for the King of Portugal but give Lanzarote a miss if you want to keep your ears. For ballast on the way back would bring me some more of those small mis-shaped beige lumps of marble’

Dave 5th Jan 2009
PS
Whilst were establishing that Monday is a bad day for culture in Lisbon (see Janet’s Blog) I saw and failed to photograph a brilliant bit of graffiti. An almost bilingual Portuguese vandal had spray painted a wall with ‘Resistance is Fertile’

Easy Listening

I’m being tortured. You know how I said the Bachelors were on board? Well, I never liked the Bachelors in their heyday, and certainly wasn’t going to spend any of my time on holiday listening to their sickly songs – and that was before I heard someone coming out of one of their shows saying that they’d heard better karaoke. Anyway, it seems that the people in the next cabin to ours must have liked the show so much that they’ve bought the CD, as the mournful sounds of ‘Diane’ and ‘I believe’ are permeating the walls as I type. Fingers in ears... la la la la la ... ah that’s better.

Janet
7pm Monday 5th January

p.s. Can you remember the names of the Bachelors in the 60’s? They were Dec and Con McCluskey, and ‘the other one who stood at the back’. Apparently the group now consists of ‘the other one who stood at the back’ plus two more recent members who aren’t dead at the moment.